Just a few examples
Personally, I wouldn’t read pornography, I would watch it. I do, occasionally, to be completely honest. I like to know the difference between what I write and what people see when they read/watch pornography. (There’s a million reasons to lie about it, but I prefer to be honest.) Some words, like jizz, for example, are a little too pornographic for me, but I included it anyway. Everyone has their limits and experiences with language, which helps them decide what toes beyond to erotic, pornographic, and abuse. Alternately, I try to stay away from scientific-PC-textbook words like penis and vagina. Those words fall kinda flat to me.
I do try to use words that evoke a sort of loin-clenching response and those two words in particular don’t do it for me. The word “vajayjay” is not quite pussy but not quite vagina, mature yet kind of silly and funny, and I think its suitable for children (which this article isn’t I realize more and more as I go along); I would never use it to write sexual intimacy between my characters unless they were just talking about sex or sex organs.
The word “pussy” is a little abrasive to me because its often used so derogatorily and thrown around freely in my community; and it makes me think of cats, probably because of that song…. “Cunt”, from my understanding, is problematic for white women. I think it has something to do with European history and the origins of white women’s feminism. Like Inga Muscio, I don’t have as much of an issue with the word until I hear people using it tastelessly or derogatorily. On a guttural level, I find the word “cock” to be arousing; not so much, the word “dick”.