Dads That Suck: Me and Peter Quill


Since I talked about absent male parents on my other blog, I guess I’ll keep it coming.

For my birthday, I went to the movies for the first time in years and I saw Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Just like an increasing number of Marvel movies these days, the writers really need to adjust some of their humor. But what I found myself struck by was the relationship between Peter Quill and Ego.

Since my birthday is around the same time as Father’s Day, I give a thought to that relationship. I sensed the pain and anger that Peter Quill, even as a fictional character, must have felt to learn the truth about his father. There was just something there in the story that resonated with me.

I do not easily refer to my sperm donor as “Dad”, despite the title of this post. Simply because he’s not that and it offends my definitions of the words family and father to give him an honor he did not earn. No, my sperm donor didn’t kill my mom and he isn’t a god. Just a really messed up, manipulative, entitled, arrogant guy who can’t keep it in his pants. He might not think he’s God’s gift to the entire universe but does think he’s God’s gift to women and he deserves a throne built on my back for not wearing a condom.

I know what it’s like to want an absent father to turn out to be a better person than his absence would lead you to believe. I didn’t play a game of Light-ball catch with my sperm donor like Peter Quill did. But I did give him a chance. And he wasn’t worth the time, energy, or the chance I gave him.

Maybe I’ll save a post about Yondu for later.

I’m rooting for you, Nebula. Commit that patricide.


Quiet & ‘Metal Gear Solid V’–sexism is not erotic, it’s just sexism

Gotta get this poison out right now. So I was looking for something completely different on Wikia when I made the mistake of clicking a link for an article Beyond the Bikini: “Why ‘Metal Gear Solid V’s Quiet Deserve to Be Heard” by Eric Fuchs.

On principle, I am not a fan of Metal Gear Solid, which is essentially men’s fantasizing and glorification of violence and warfare. But I have watched a couple of the games be played by my brother and sister–from beginning to end to see their stories unfold.

Fuchs tell me in his article that Metal Gear Solid V features a female character named Quiet, who is a “mute, superpowered sniper dressed in very little clothing”. Look at the article for visuals. Essentially, Fuchs goes on to say that Quiet’s portrayal is “erotic”, that the game’s director Hideo Kojima did it all on purpose because it’s “just fiction”, and that Quiet redeems the game.

Here’s my point: The producers of Metal Gear Solid V intentionally created a woman character who does not speak (until she is required to die for a man) that they designed and controlled from the tips of her toes to the top of her head for the purposes of male game players. It’s about control, not respect. The great Boy’s Club of patriarchal society. By making these games, with a wink and a paternal pat on the back, they validate men’s desires to only see women the way they want instead of as they are, extending to every guy on the planet a huge helping hand to the objectification, dehumanization, and violation of all women and their bodies from the day they are born.

As an author, I do not differentiate between fiction and “reality” in the sense that fiction (our ideas) informs reality and our reality informs our ideas (our fictions). Quiet and her universe of Metal Gear Solid V is a fiction, yes, but unfortunately, some boys do not draw lines between “real life” and fiction, in a much darker and horrifying way because they know other men will help them achieve their violent fantasies and protect their means to do so at the expense of women’s rights and humanity. From the anime community to the gaming community and beyond, the only kind of girls and women these assholes tolerate are the kind they can control, whether she is drawn on a piece of paper or designed on a computer. They honestly think that creating fictional girls and sharing them with other boys to jerk off to is A-ok and has no repercussions. They think that just because this girl or woman is a fictional character that it doesn’t matter what her body is used for or intended for, as long as she serves their purpose which is usually sexual and degrading. Which does nothing but cause casual sexism, misogyny and other violent impulses to fester in men from a young age. There is nothing that stops men and boys from doing this to girls off the page and off the screen as well, when the mangas, comics, magazines, and pencils are put away and the the game consoles and controllers are down.

Quiet is wearing a bikini? Quiet is “nearly murdered and raped by Russian soldiers”? Quiet is killed off for the sake of a man? It’s a game for boys made by boys, OF COURSE IT’S VIOLENTLY SEXIST. It’s typically a given that it is. This is men’s fantasies. And its fucking disgusting.

Acting like he’s being reasonable and outlining the problems of sexism embodied by Quiet in Metal Gear Solid V, Eric Fuchs completely gives Hideo Kojima a pat on the back for being an outright sexist, while understating and subverting (in ways that  only the sexist “heterosexual male gaze” can) everything that’s wrong with even the simplest details of Quiet’s presentation to make it look positive.

If you can’t create a game where women are great with their clothes on, then don’t do it at all.

“It’s difficult. [My female protagonists] immediately become the subjects of rorikon gokko (play toy for Lolita Complex males). In a sense, if we want to depict someone who is affirmative to us, we have no choice but to make them as lovely as possible. But now, there are too many people who shamelessly depict [such protagonists] as if they just want [such girls] as pets, and things are escalating more and more.”

— Hayao Miyazaki, 1988 interview with Animage, expressing concern for the human rights of women  (From Wikipedia, on Lolicon)


Harry Dresden–no, just no

I’m only in chapter two of Storm Front and Harry Dresden has used the word “cheerleader” to describe two different women. Because cheerleaders, evil witch bitches, and women who need doors opened and their chairs pulled out for them are obviously the only two or three types of women Dresden believes exists.

I read Jim Butcher’s 2014 National Novel Writing Month pep talk about two years ago when I participated as I have been for the past couple of years. At the time, I thought Butcher was witty and decided to take the time to read some of his work. I thought the same thing about the character of Harry Dresden…at first.

Unfortunately Storm Front is my first exposure to Butcher’s novels and I can say plainly that, two chapters in, I am not impressed.

Grown men who constantly point out that their sexist attitudes are a product of their upbringing while knowing full well that their views/thought processes and behaviors are wrong and unfair to women (the women who don’t think men are God’s special gift to women) only do it because they have no intention of changing. They enjoy letting everybody know that they think of women a certain way and are secretly confident there’s no reason for them to change and that it makes them “more of a man” instead of a rotten human being. (Mostly because…penis.) Dresden’s attitude is, “I know I’m a bigot. I can’t help it and I’m going to constantly remind you that I simply cannot contain myself”. With a shrug, too. He’s probably the kind of guy who secretly thinks this b.s. is charming and all women love it somewhere deep inside.

I had intended to read the whole book despite Harry Dresden’s (and maybe even Jim Butcher’s) abrasive attitude towards women. But I’m not going to be a “good woman” and stick it out with this schmuck. I deleted Storm Front off my tablet the moment I read–

Classic lady in distress. For one of those liberated, professional women, she knew exactly how to jerk my old-fashioned chains around.

–Jim Butcher, Storm Front

Deal breaker. Last straw. With every annoying little dig that proceeded it, that is the end of the entire story for me. I could vomit.

My tablet is reading the page number I’m on as 307 out of 3712. I. Will. Fucking. Not. Do. This. To. Myself. I can only predict from experience with first person narratives and, you know, observing men for most of my life that this crud isn’t going to change, no matter how much of the Dresden files I try to read.

“Because you can’t do something like this without a whole lot of hate,” I said. “Women are better at hating than men. They can focus it better, let it go better. Hell, witches are just plain meaner than wizards. This looks like feminine vengeance of some kind to me.”

–Jim Butcher, Storm Front

I can almost ignore that Dresden/Butcher has the same prejudice against fat characters/people that J.K. Rowling has or that he described “Monica” as having a “hoarse cheerleader” voice over the phone. But Dresden’s ingrained idiocy against women is not acceptable.

Why would I want to spend time and energy reading a book about a fictional guy who’s admittedly sexist? There are plenty of real ones to deal with.

Some books, even if they potentially have redeeming qualities…somewhere in there…a lady’s just gotta put it down and walk away.

Opinionated Man is back

I’ve run across obnoxious people online before but I’ve never had them stalk me from blog to blog. This guy is fast becoming a wad of chewing gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe that I just can’t scrape off, the first point of contact being when I had the misfortune of visiting his blog in the first place. I have no idea why he feels the need to follow my blogs and comment when he knows I feel this way about him and also what I know about his brand of social commentary/expression of his opinions. I thought I made this very clear–

I have no interest in engaging with him. But I guess if enough people follow your blog and tell you you’re right, you start thinking everyone wants to hear what you have to say. I think he writes other things, though I’m not really interested in knowing more about an “opinionated” man who doesn’t know when to shut up and back off because his opinions aren’t wanted.

I view myself as a passionate person and while I sympathize to some minimum extent with what he so obviously thinks his blogging is about, what I do and what he does are too completely different things. What is the point of his online persona, other than to purposefully offend everybody and what does that give to the world? What is the point of glibly and unnecessarily challenging and disrespecting life experiences, thoughts, feelings, and struggles you obviously know nothing about and see fit to devalue? Because he is this way and makes a conscious choice to do what he does in complete blind and utter ignorance, there is no reason or way for me to engage or reason with him that wouldn’t be a waste of my time and energy, like so many of his predecessors.

So I was looking to see if this guy was for real, outside of face value, and ironically enough I came across a perfect article on what he is and how to deal with him.

Opinionated people are people who announce their opinions multiple times without being asked. Sure, sometimes opinions can just be slipped out, but if it becomes a habit then it’s a problem. These people are not bad, but they just earn the reputation of “annoying”. In life, we might come across a few opinionated people….

1. Understand what qualifies for “opinionated”. People who are opinionated usually have little or no respect/value for the beliefs of others, however, this varies. Also, opinionated people have an opinion on every single thing. They will announce their opinion in public, and get irritated or mad when someone else respectfully criticizes their opinion. Opinionated people will often assume that you care or are interested in hearing their opinion, and even if they know you aren’t, they still will announce it anyway.

2. Look at the below templates, as these will help you recognize more on the definition for opinionated. Notice how the second template is much more respectful then the first one.

  • Bad Opinionated: I like pizza, but people who don’t like it are stupid.
  • Non Opinionated: I like pizza, but if you don’t, then that’s fine too.

3. Show the person that you really don’t care. Listen to their view of things and respect it, but don’t think you are required to believe the same thing. You cannot “modify” the person’s behavior or opinions.

4. Speak up! This is vitally important. If the opinionated person says something that is offensive or disrespectful to what you believe, don’t let it pass by. Tell the opinionated person respectfully that your opinion are just as valuable as theirs. If they get “mad” about what you said, then it’s their problem to overcome. They shouldn’t be offended if you’re just standing up for yourself.

5. Try to avoid the opinionated person. This doesn’t mean you can’t spend any time with them at all, but keep your distance […] just remember, keep your distance.

‘Doctor Who’, atheism, two-way meta-crisis god complex with theism*

Of course its okay to portray a man as god and worship him especially if he’s white and has scientific imperialism to back him.

Lets count the many times the Doctor gets practically prayed and bowed down to in his last two incarnations

Dear writers and atheists producing Doctor Who, you’re not doing anything revolutionary or new by removing one patriarchal god’s religion (crosses and cock) and replacing it with another (science and cock).

In the hands of man’s interpretation and limited understanding, both are flawed. And certainly nothing to be worshiped.

 The chief issue I take with atheism — that is, “atheism” here meaning the most common patterns of atheist discourse, not all the individuals themselves (although straight, White, and male atheists are particularly susceptible) — is that it does not oppose oppression.  It opposes theism, and in doing so, it uses oppression and the suffering of others as a rhetorical tool for a smear campaign without actually showing real compassion or support for the targets of violence.

acetheist, Atheist Heterosexism


*This was meant to be a much longer post on a list of Doctor Who cons, but I thought I’d cut to the point for this one.

Slave movies are porn to whites

Slave movies are porn to whites. Slave movies are the “good old days” to whites. Do you actually think that they’re sitting back in theaters, slurping sodas and bottled mineral water, eating popcorn and everlasting gobstoppers, and thinking, “Wow, what a great teaching tool! This is the one—white people are going to take this slave movie seriously! It will help change millions of white perspectives and end institutional racism!”



Why do white people (and Black men) continue to drool over slave movies? Why do they keep making different versions of the same fucked up shit for the entertainment industry?


I know why Black people bring up slavery—RACISM STILL EXISTS AND WHITE SUPREMACY LOVES IT. It needs it to survive.


Again, but why do white people and Black men continue to make movies out of it?


The prevalence of fetishistic slave movies today has two roots: Black men becoming part of the white American manhood club and the pornographic dehumanization and subjugation of Black women.


So Black men can now be the heroes of their own historical enslavement, as represented by characters like Django. Black masculinity is a staple of white audiences. Its cool, its rough, its strong, savage, dark, its Mandingo. Manhood is the only thing capable of raising up manhood, so manhood takes in only that which strengthens and purifies it. Wild, dark, savage Black manhood—as much as white men and women have tried to control, sell, and emasculate it—is still manhood. Its the darkest, coolest, roughest, and sexiest type as a matter of fact, so whites simply must have it and Black men simply must sell and give it away in order to move up the ladder of upward mobility.


Black men actively participate in the oppression of their own race and women. For props and profit, folks. This is not new.


And white people wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re interested in what they’ve always been interested-themselves and anything that furthers them getting whatever they want no matter the cost to those around them. So much for peace, harmony and love.


Black will never see a scrap of justice that does us any good as long as people continue to support the making and viewing of these movies.

We live in a society that is so desensitized to violence in general, violence against Black people, and anti-Blackness that this slave movie, that slave movie, none of it matters—these people are basically going to the theaters to see these films for entertainment. How fucking sick is that?

“for her”, cuz females need special pens

BiC, “for her”.

I asked myself, Is this real?

And I thought it was a marketing flop that would disappear after I saw a random picture of it online somewhere a while back.

Obviously not.

My mom knows I write a lot and will buy me pens, journals, and notebooks whenever she happens across something affordable that she thinks I might like. I specifically told her the last time she went into the cursed Walmart to never buy me any of this ridiculous shit; she obviously forgot my mini rant about how stupid, shortsighted, and narrow-minded any thoughts that went into these “for her” pens must’ve been.  I asked her to return them to the store as soon as possible. 

I mean, if they work for your hand or grip, good for you. If you like the design, good for you. If you like the easy glide, good for you.

But its so incomprehensible why pens need a gender label. A pen is a pen, and if a person wants to buy it they will and if they don’t they won’t. BiC, please get it together. Because I do not need slick, cutesy marketing/packaging to tell me what pens I’d like to buy. This company makes me feel ashamed to own any of their products with this nonsense.

Charmed, Season 8, Episode 8, “Battle of the Hexes”

This episode is probably the most hated episode for me, excluding two or three episodes that I intentionally didn’t watch.

It’s completely racist (Paige gets to be the white savior, champion of the Black male delinquent; using a corrupt legal system to get a PoC to get his life together; two white people making a bet on Black persyn’s life–great). Then on top of that, its completely sexist, relying on the Greek myth of Hippolyta’s belt.

If a woman is too powerful and too radical, then she must be a angry vicious murderer and separatist that wants to kill all men, regardless of what they’ve done.

This reminds me of when Chris’s future self killed three Amazons to get their amulets so the charmed ones could go to the Amazons’ island and save Leo and Piper. And was never punished, because Leo let him off the hook.

And I never really thought about how heterosexist the show is.

Is this what they think balance is?

Of all the directions they could have taken Hippolyta’s belt, they chose this one.

Now, I already don’t like Billie–dislike her even more than I dislike Paige. Couldn’t stand Paige because she replaced Pru. You have all these silly hos panting after dick and chasing dreams of babies and happy white middleclass domestic situations (its the way its presented, not the fact that they want to have children or enjoy men). The fact that Piper didn’t have a girl as this supreme magical being and Wyatt is treated like a Christ-like figure in terms of his birth and magical abilities. The good/evil dichotomy. Cultural appropriation everywhere. The othering of different magic traditions. Add this up with all the inherent racism and that deplorable episode where Phoebe is narrating like the show is fucking Sex in the City…

Charmed is just not charming anymore.

I’m just watching until the end to say I saw the whole thing (if I even do that).